Oh good grief. I gave in, caved, crumbled, wussed out. I found out yesterday at my u/s that we are having........


A boy and a girl!!!! YAY! Names are already picked and if you check out my post on PAIF or facebook, you'll know what they are!



Girl (formerly baby A)- couldn't get a good pick of her bits, but here's a nice one of her head!

Boy (formerly baby B)- Not at all shy!

Too long, I know!

Sorry, it's been a loooong time since I posted last. Things have been NUTSO around here. All is well with the twins, we are sitting pretty at 21 wks 3d now and it's mostly uneventful :o)

We have had the house up for sale for a while now and although a few people have looked at it, noone has made an offer yet. This wasn't a major problem until now.. because we found a house we wanted, put an offer in and got accepted!!! DH and I are so excited!!! It's the most wonderful house ever and has everything we could need/wish for. We are really praying hard that our house will sell soon and that we can move.



The babies are doing well, I have only gained 2lbs so far (yay!) and I have another u/s on 12/29 so looking forward to that. The tech told me last time that if I bring in a vhs tape, they will record the bouncing beans for me!! Here's the pics from the last u/s

This is Baby A

This is Baby B

They are currently lying transverse and B is lying right on top of A!!! We'll see what they're doing in a week or two eh?!

Right then..

It's been a busy week. I've been sick as a dog, V and I have a nasty cold and I can't take anything for it.. boohoo. I'd kill for some Nyquil!I woke up on Saturday am and chatted with dh for a while, went to pee, wiped and FREAKED out because there was blood. A lot of blood. I yelled for the phone and called the doc. He said bedrest for 2 days, then come in on monday. So today I went in and had a pelvic exam, bloodwork and an U/s. All is well now, but they said that I did have a tear in the placenta and now I have to be SUPER careful. No picking V up unless I have to. The beans were VERY busy in there, all jumping and flipping around all over the place. It was good to see them and know they are well.

Woot- last progesteron suppository tonight!!

Can I tell you HOW relieved I am that this is the last cold, pointy sharp foreign object that I am going to have to shove up my hooha for the rest of my life?!! I'm so hoping and praying that this means the end of the sickness. I'm so excited that this is it, no more getting into bed and then having to come back down to get the stupid things out of the fridge!!

Hoping that we get people to look round our house soon too. We really need to sell quickly and for the price we need so that we can get the other house we want. It's all too much for me to deal with right now so it's in God's hands. Nothing I can do!!

Yay for eating!

I can EAT! finally I am at a point where for a few minutes a couple of times a day I can eat. It's not much and it has to be EXACTLY what I want at that given moment, but at least I'm getting food down now... and most of the time it's staying there :o)

I weighed myself this morning. I'm down 4 lbs but, it's not like I'm hurting for extra padding in the first place. The bubbies will be just fine taking what they need from me! I'm very tired though, we have been trying to find a new house to buy and getting this one ready to sell. I just want it to be over as I have totally fallen in love with the one we want. It's a foreclosure and we're trying to buy it with mostly cash so we have a very tiny mortgage, which will help immensely if I have to stay at home for a while :o)

Right then, off to bed. V will be up expecting fun in the morning!!

huh...

So today I haven't felt sick. Well, nothing more than a couple of fleeting bouts that haven't bothered me much. And.. I ATE!!! Yup! I really ate today. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner :o) Toast and fruit for breakfast, 3 squares of pizza and 3 chicken wings for lunch (co-worker's leaving party) and a grilled cheese for dinner just now. I have no idea what has changed, or if it will last past today but I'm so happy right now!!! Dh and I even got some 'quality time' in.. and that's been seriously lacking in the last couple of weeks ;o)

Oh, how I hope this is going to stay this way.

soooooooo sick..

I'm still sick as a dog all day, everyday. The zofran is working in that I haven't actually thrown up in the last 4 days but I feel like I'm going to!! I have my first ob appt on Friday, I wonder if there's anything she can do to help me.. other than that I just hope it goes away quickly!

Still Two..

I had my 'official' u/s today. There is definately two in there. Both still had great h/bs and had grown quite a bit since last week. RE has already released me to my ob and first appt is on Friday. Feeling sick doesn't even begin to describe how I am right now. They have me on Zofran and while it has stopped the actuall throwing up, it hasn't done much for the nausea!! I will not complain though, I will take all the sickness in the world if it means two healthy babes.

V has reached that lovely phase of 'I don't want to' including taking a bath. Last night was not at all fun, she screamed the entire time and kept trying to climb out!! Oh well, this too shall pass.

I'm in shock..

I had that freebie u/s today. It was fun, my friend came with me and it turns out I know the tech that was training! She works with my husband and she used to be a patient at the dental office I ran for a couple of years.


Anyway, I went in for the u/s and they tried an abdominal one, couldn't get anything. Tried with the internal and bingo! there's the sac and the bean and a heartbeat. Great, fantastic, wonderful.

"What's that?" I say, on the top of the screen. "

"Oh it's probably just the subchorionic bleed that you had" they say.

"really? can we look at that?" I ask out of curiosity.

"sure" they say.


"Um, should a subchorionic bleed have a sac and a heartbeat?!" I ask.

"Ah, No" they say, "that's another baby"

I'M HAVING TWINS!!!!!!!

arrghh! We are having twins! Dh is doing sooo well with the news. Better than me infact. Mind you, he doesn't have to carry and push them out!

I'll update more later, I'm too freaked out right now!!

3rd beta..

is a stonking 1793! So we are most definately on!

I have my first ultrasound booked for 8/28 BUT I get a freebie one at the pg care place in town here that's training techs~ I get to go and look at the bean/s on friday! Very happy about that. I need to go and eat now!

2nd Beta is back...

Ok, so I called and they weren't ready at 9.30.. I called again at 10.30...

433.3!!!!!


arrggh!!! I am SO knocked up! lol was 89.9 on thurs so that's a great rise :o)

very, very happy!

and another....

I think I might stop soon...



















But then again, I probably won't!!!

Feeling sick as a dog today YAY! and heartburn too. None of this with V but I'll take it all if it means a healthy bean!

Still no bleeding and no cramping now either.. Thank you Lord!

Today's Peestick!

lol, I can't help it, I have an addiction!!




















I just love to see that 2nd line come up!

beta is back....

It's 89.9!!!! That's just amazing. I was so sure that it would be a really low number and just confirm my chem pg theory!

As it is, it's high enough to keep me hoping until monday when I have a repeat. I have talked to many girls today about the bleeding/cramping and they have all said that they went through this. I just have to give it to God... I can't do anything about it, it's all up to him now.

Even if this doesn't stick, I'm just so in awe that it worked! His boys actually must have asked for directions at last!! It gives me great hope for the future.

I need sleep now, all I've done today is eat and drink pop... I don't drink pop but I'm craving it terribly!!

Beta is done

Now I wait......

Still crampy but not much bleeding now. Poas again at 6am.. still + although I know that doesn't really mean anything. Felt a little sick when I got up this morning.. arrgghh, must stop analyzing!

uggh

Still cramping. Still spotting brown. Not having a good feeling about this. I left a msg on the nurse line at the RE's office. Got another + stick this morning but can't muster any smiles about it. I'm almost certain that it's chem now. BUGGER!!!!

Now I'm annoyed because I may have to sit out this month.. grrrr.

I'll update later.

still 2 lines...

Not any darker but definately still there. BUT there was a little red on the tp when I wiped this morning. Trying not to worry but I'm still crampy. I remember the cramping from when I had V but I don't remember any spotting.

Update:

It's 8:30pm and I'm still crampy. Spotting is now brown not red and I just poas again (I know, I need help!) and the lines were still there and came up quickly. So now of course I'm considering the notion that it's a chemical pg... I called the RE and they said they can move my beta to Thursday but no sooner. Only have to get through tomorrow then!

uh, freaking a little here...

I caved, I know I'm weak. I poas. There were 2 LINES!!!!

Really don't know what to make of all this. Trying not to get excited... will test again tomorrow.

C r a m p y

Ouch! feeling crampy today. Can't remember but I don't think that Frank can show up if I'm on the progesterone.. hmmm. Now I'm trying not to get excited! I want to ask my friends on the board but it seems to be down!!! arrgh!

Trigger is GONE!

Ok, so I poas this morning and got no lines at all. This is great! now I know that the trigger is out of my system and if I get 2 lines next time, I'm really knocked up!! woot!

Still 2 lines

fainter though, much fainter..

2 lines..

Of course there is! lol, it's only been 2 days!

I'm PUPO!

It's been a long time since I've said that. It went well, they used the lidocaine again and I didn't have any pain again! LOVE that stuff.

I'm not really sure how I feel except that I'm pretty calm now. Not sure if there's less pressure because I already have V or what but I'm finding this MUCH easier the second time around. Not that I wouldn't love #2 just as much as V but it's just less stressfull. I think because I know that my body CAN do it now, it's just a matter of timing and it being what God has planned for us.

So now the poasfest begins! Good thing the $ shop sells peesticks!!

This is what a chicken feels like!

Woah there Bert and Ernie! Had another b/w & U/s session this morning. I have sooooo many follicles it's not even funny! The u/s tech told me that my ovaries are so big that they are actually touching now! Got my call this afternoon to trigger tonight and start the progesterone supps tomorrow morning. Oh joy. Iui is on Friday morning at 10am.

Now the only thing I can do is keep peeing on sticks to make sure the trigger is gone!

My ovaries are showing off! lol

Yup, I got another peek at them today and goodness they are working HARD!! Bert has 8 follies all between 7-10 mm and Ernie has outdone himself! 9 follies the biggest of which is 13mm already! Hurrah!

Dropped the gonal f dose from 150 iu the last 3 days to 75 iu for the next couple of days and go back on wed for more b/w and u/s to see when it's 'GO TIME'

I suspect friday or saturday which would be cool. V was conceived on Fathers day and due on M's birthday so how cool would it be to have the next bambino/bambinette conceived on our 6yr wedding anniversary and due on/near my birthday?!!!

Roll on Wednesday morning!!

It's Needle time!!

My baseline appointment was this morning, it went well. It's funny how easily you slip back into the routine; check in, get blood drawn, get naked from the waist down and wait for the dr to scrutinize your bits and pieces.

I had forgotten also that I had named my ovaries a long time ago but it all came flooding back to me, lying on that table with my bum hanging out in the breeze. Bert is the left one, and Ernie is the right one. Yes, I'm aware that's not normal but if you've known me for any length of time then you'll know that it's not unusual!

Ernie and Bert are both doing wonderful things already, 6 follies on each side and we're only on day 3! Apparently I have ' a beautiful uterus' also.

Injections are different this time. The Gonal pen is almost fun to use, and a lot less cafuffle than the old- mix the vial of water with the vial of powder, shake and then draw up, change needles then inject- method. This is just - attach needle, dial dose, inject- I LOVE it! It does still sting a little but I think I hit a stretch mark so that didn't help!

Not much else to report, V is having the usual 16 mth teething, tantrums and squealing sessions and M actually asked last night if we're sure we're doing the right thing, trying for another. I told him that yes, of course we're doing the right thing. It will all be over in a couple of years!

Ok, off to bed. I have no idea what time or how many times V will have me up during the night so I try to start early!

Sooooo, I POAS...

and... NADA! lol. That's ok, I've been a little crampy the last 2 days so I think that 'frank' is just around the corner. I'm completely fine with this, I'm just so excited to get going on this next cycle, I really, really hope and pray that this works fast this time.. I can't afford the petrol to keep driving an hour each way for my RE appointments!!

gimme the drugs!

Ahh, my box of meds has arrived. I spent some time opening it and checking the contents, just to make sure that nothing was amiss. I'm not sure what I think about the new Gonal-F pens.. I was quite attached to my little vials of water and powder! Mind you, they will be easier to use and seeing as there was no difference in the copay, I took them out of curiosity :o) I tell you what, I have a great doc.. she wrote the script for 5 pens, 450iu each as a 30 day supply.. I checked with the insurance co, it's $438!!! for EACH pen! the happy news is that my copay was only $25, for all 5!! While that was most certainly a bargain, the Progesterone suppliments and the Ovidrel were $40 each, so a total copay of $105 for somewhere in the region of $3,000 in meds. Not as good as my old insurance but definately better than a lot of poor girls I know who have NO coverage for IF on their insurance.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to found a Grant fund for couples going through IF. I'd love to be able to help those who don't have what I've been blessed with.

Right, I'm off to bed.. I've been having very strange cramps all day. Wouldn't that just be fantastic? Find out the Clomid worked just after paying out the copay!! Never mind, I'm sure I'd find someone to sell it all to!

Waiting....

Just waiting for AF to show. I don't believe that the clomid worked. I don't feel pg.. mind you I didn't the last time either! It's funny isn't it, we spend most of our lives as young women, praying for her to show up, then, when we've grown and we're ready for children, she's the last thing we want to see! I can't quite believe that M and I are really going to go through all this again, BUT, V is most definately the BEST thing to ever happen to us and we know that we aren't 'done' trying to have children yet.

My appointment with the RE went really well, she said that there's no reason why we can't just jump in with the same protocol as the last cycle that got us V!! my big ol' box o' meds arrives on tuesday. Ahh, I remember the excitement of getting that box in the past. That box holds the promise of a dream. To everyone else, it's just a collection of needles, vials, and strangely named liquids and pellets, but to the IF expert it represents countless possiblities: 2 lines on a urine soaked stick, ultrasounds and heartbeats, cravings in the middle of the night, secret belly flutters that make you smile and ultimately -the promise of no longer crying for your dream but hearing your dream cry for you.

so now we wait...

Bad, bad girl...

I am. I'm doing something very bad. I'm self medicating !!! (shhhh) I know, I know, it's very, very bad to take clomid unmonitored.. but I have a good reason your honour! I have leftover pills. And they were just sitting there, looking at me. Saying

"Here we are, we might be your answer. If you take us, you might not have to go through all that crap again. We're just little pills, you only need 5 of us.. we won't harm you. Just think, you won't have to drive an hour 3 different times just to get an ultrasound and bloodwork done (25 mins tops) and then drive back again. Think of the cost of the petrol! you could buy tons of nappies with that!"

So, I took them. Now don't get me wrong, I've done clomid before but you.. forget. And then you remember WHY it's know affectionally as Clomoood. Ohhhh the humanity, the mood swings, the heat flashes!! (thank the Lord above for air conditioning!) Anyway, it's all over tomorrow, that's my last one. Then we wait.

Definition of insanity..

Is doing the same thing repeatedly with the expectation of a different result. Well, M & are are prepared to go insane... we're going back into the crazy world of IF treatments. Yes folks, we're ready to ttc #2. V is now 16 mths old and such a bundle of fun/temper tantrums/cuddles and new discoveries that we have deemed ourselves ready to start from scratch again. I have an appointment with the RE on wednesday (the 3rd) so here's to hoping that she'll just let us jump back in with inj/iui without making us go through any testing first. Pray for us please.. we need God's help with this... He knows we can't do it on our own.. (we know, we've been 'not preventing' since V was born!)

really hope this takes less time this go around!